I’m a Father?! What The…
It’s Father’s Day. My wife and daughter are still sleeping. I thought I’d rise early, pour a bourbon, and set the record straight. I’m a father?! How did this happen?! Well, I blame my wife and daughter. Making me a father is the single most irresponsible thing my wife has ever done. I blame my daughter less. She was not […]
Don't Waste These Leftovers!
I’m a Father?! What The…
It’s Father’s Day. My wife and daughter are still sleeping. I thought I’d rise early, pour a bourbon, and set the record straight. I’m a father?! How did this happen?! Well, I blame my wife and daughter. Making me a father is the single most irresponsible thing my wife has ever done. I blame my […]
The Tooth
Her face looked like a hand-tooled leather wallet. She had Lucky Strike breath, James Earl Jones’s voice, and a disposition unburdened by kindness. At least that’s how I remember The Tooth. Mrs. Toothman (as she called herself) was my fourth-grade teacher. She pulled no punches and punched frequently. Bathroom breaks, crying, water bottles, or any […]